Category Archives: 2015

Diapers are expensive…

Well, for one shining moment, we have a weiner and it’s Canonico.  Champ watched his alma mater win the championship and his unborn child’s bracket win the pool.  He also watched me drink the 72oz Margarita at Skeeters on Westlayan.  Good times, fun group of his friends.

It was so Hollywood.  The “David” Duke slayed the “Goliath” Wisconisin and did so just as they always do…by their starters not looking very good and some short white kid steps up and turns the corner for them.  Just like CBS wrote it…

The Wexler twins beat MeTwo on the tiebreaker for second.  Glen Wheeler won a tiebreaker for fourth and McInnis got 5th, which is the same place he would have gotten if Wisconsin had won.  Also, even if Iowa State had won the championship, McInnis would still be short and bald.  And still richer than I am (I had Duke to win it all, damnit!  Can somebody buy me a coffee?  Can I bum a smoke?)  Buster the Naughty Dawg beat out Phil Magee…and settled that argument.

That is one good looking expecting parent.  The other one, not so much.

The quote contest is open for another week.  This is for many reasons including I am way behind in depositing checks.  Send in your answers and you can pick up $20.

Winners, send me your address and let me know if you want it all to go to charity and I should just mail you a receipt or if you really want the cash.  Also, gimmie a few days.  I have a lot to deposit and add up.  I think we have two duplicates that need to come out of the gross but not everyone replies to their email as quickly as Melinda Friou.

OK.  Friou out.

We’re going streaking!!!!!!

The Running Izzos learned that it is hard to dance with a devil on your back.  Damn skippy.  Champ Canonico yelled at the TV “For the first time in my life, something good will happen to me!!!”  Strange words from an expecting father.

Then…Frank the Tank!  Frank the Freakin Tank!  Wisconsin just Pittsnoggled (oh yes I did!) the greatest team to ever play basketball.  I was in Dallas last year for the game between Wisconsin and Kentucky.  Strange night.  It started with Hickey telling me “his secrect” and ended with me beating up Liner.  But the most amazing thing was the end to that game.  It was pretty cool and it was just cool to see the rematch.

So, who lost?

  1. Lauren “Whorin” Holcombe
  2. Andrew “Daddy’s bribe did not pay off” Aguilar
  3. Cody Clyde  Compton
  4. Rich “Vegas Baby” Sharko
  5. Reid “Kentucky Blue” Babin
  6. lee “picked Wicsonsin but.. D’Oh” jaques
  7. Hedge “Hedge brackets mean your pain costs twice as much” Hogan
  8. Reese “Don’t call the Po-Lice” Liner
  9. Travis “He Hate Me” Bloom
  10. Melinda “We love you” Friou
  11. William “Always close, never cigar” swingle

Who won?  Who can win?

If Duke beats Wisconsin, Champ Canonico’s unborn baby wins first place. I love unborn babies.  They cry less than the born ones.  MeWhoo Patel and the Wexler twins tie for second.  Sexy Wexy and I met at an AC-DC concert in high school.  He was one of the rich Memorial kids.  He gave me some morsels to eat and let me have a used blanket.  I am still thankful.  He is fair and kind.  Can I haz more morsel??  Then it’s McInnis and Wheeler in fourth.  Jeff McInnis once told me that he was king of the world when TCU beat UT in football.   Well, there are a lot of kings in this world I guess.  A lot.  Buster Freeman and Phil Magee would battle it out for 6th.  Buster is a very naughty dog and chicks dig Phil because he is in Hoffa.  I guess the eternal epic battle betweeen naughty dogs and hoffa will be settled on thier tiebreaker.

If Wisconsin beats Duke, Chris Watt and Woody Pride tie for first.  Chris Watt won this pool around 1997.  Woody Pride is a fake name.  The real name of the person behind that bracket is Eugene Seale.  That’s #53 or Mr. Seale to you.  Brandon Fox comes after that.  Cough cough.  Ceasr Aguilar would get fourth.  I think Cesar to this day beats up Rodney Martin and Travis just to show them who is boss.  If Wisconsin wins, he can make it rain during the next beating.  Then it would be McInnis and Rob Anderson.  Rob is the one who taught me how to abuse people pre-internet.  He used jayson Baird as his personal punching bag for a long time.  I am thankful for those lessons.  I am surprised I was allowed at the Anderson house after spilling his dad’s spit-cup and hitting on his 5 yr-old sister.  I guess my charm overcame my faults.

I updated the standings, the scenario report, and the other way to look at the scenarios (just change the scenario from the drop down box in top left).

post script:  Healy and goats.  Not a good combination them two.



Here but now they’re gone came the last night of sadness, and it was clear she couldn’t go on.

More good games, and a lot of wreckage in the pool.  Best game of the day was when Elliot “40 Minutes of Ell” led the Dynamo to a 7-2 victory.   But that’s not what you want to read about.


The early game killed my bracket.  Had Louisville won, I would have gone 4-0 in the Elite Eight.  But they did not.  Interestingly, 24 people had Michigan State to win that game.   A 7 seed!  They won me $500 in a another bracket today (the MSU  victory clinched it).

Duke beat Gonzaga.  I got a pic of the cowbell player on the Jumbotron at the game.  Me & he….we’re tight.


It was a good crowd at NRG Stadium. I don’t think the dudes sitting near us covered in tats actually graduated from Duke. Or from high school…

The Duke fans were nice and so were the Gonzaga fans.  Not like the tOSU fans in Columbus in 2005 or the Aggie fans in College Station….ever

I updated the standings, the scenario report, and another way to look at the scenarios (just change the scenario from the drop down box in top left).  You can see Melinda Friou can still win money.  Poor Melinda, she has had some bad luck.  On March 17, 1973, she thought she’d have a sweet baby boy….what came out was a demon-possessed, profanity-laced devilchild.  Maybe if she wins a couple hundred bucks in this pool, it will be worth 42 years of dealing with me.

Here is another cut of the data, although I have to admit I did this quickly.  Pretty sure it’s right but I forgot to consider ties and tiebreakers.


There is a dog that could still win money.  A dog.  You losers got beat by a dog.  Also on the list is Rich Sharko, who lives in Russia.  That’s right, you are getting beat by a guy that lives on the other side of the planet and probably hasn’t seen a single college basketball game this year.


We all love Melinda Friou

Elliot went to bed with the agreement that I had to tape a piece of paper on his door with the score of UK-ND.  That way he could know the score as soon as he woke up.

Poor kid.  He will wake up and realize his bracket is busted.

I remember my mom waking me up and telling me that I fell asleep and Jimmy V beat U of H.  That was a terrible day.   Elliot will not enjoy tomorrow.

Most of the standings are the same.  Melinda Friou moved up to 10th place.   Everyone here loves Melinda Friou.  She gave me, um, life.   She loves her grandkids.   She sits in the same pew every Sunday.  She puts up with a lot and keeps a smile on her face.  I am glad she is in 10th place.  We all love Melinda Friou.




We’re going streaking!

Frank the Tank and the Wisconsin Wiskeys played well enough in the second half to kick Arizona in the you-know-what two years in a row.   We even got the obligatory basketball-player-crying-shot at the end of the game.  And Mr. Magee looks like Mr. Magoo.  And Mr. Bratten looks like Mr. Sadden. And Travis Bloom has to share the lead with Andrew Aguilar who is 1-0 on the day.

Also moving up are Brian “always tryin'” Rea and my girlfriend, Reese Liner.  There are laws in Texas that govern how much I can go on about how pretty a girl is who is elementary school, so I will just say that she looks a lot like her mom and not at all like her dad.   This is a good thing.

More to come tonight.  Go Cats.

We all end floating away, we all end floating away…

Evidently, I didn’t remember to post the current standings report.  Thanks to Kyle Liner for bailing me out.  Kyle once bailed me out when I slept through my alarm in Prague and I needed to make a presentation that morning.  He also bailed me out when at my birthday party, when I thanked each person in the room, complimented his wife’s physique, waxed poetic, but…..forgot to mention Mrs. Friou.  He might have saved my marriage with that well-timed text.  Anyway, the standings are fixed.

i also re-ran the scenario report for the 128 (that’s 2 to the poker of 7) scenarios.  I can still do as well as second place.   Woo hoo!  A total of 70 people can still win money.

Notre Dame was picked to win today by 41 of you, including Elliot Patrick Friou, who can still win first but only if the Irish go all the way.

197 people  picked #2 Arizona while 162 people picked #1 Wisconsin.  And Arizona is favored by the odds makers by 1 point.  Hmm.

She’s like “oh my gawd…” I’m just gonna shake.

Travis Bloom went a perfect 8-0 in the Sweet 16 to get to first place all by himself. Reid Babin and Phil Magee “only” went 7-1 and fell out of first. Right there with Travis is former big money winner, Derek Munger.  I’m rooting for Derek, who gave the largest tip this pool has ever seen…by a wide margin.

Also making big moves are Dallasites Jeff “What Does the Frog Say?” McInnis and Tara “25%” DeLagarza. Tara’s husband Marcos went 7-1. That’s one smart couple. Another smart couple, Kate and Sean Keegan are in the last two spots AND have no opportunity to win any more points. So we have our “winner” of the (inter alia) $20 last place prize. It’s Kate. Don’t hate Kate just because she wins this prize every year. Haters gonna hate, but you gotta admit you are a little bit jealous (and $20 poorer than she is.)

Melinda Friou made the biggest move up to 17th place.  Eat that, Martin Buniva, you Philadelphonic Ken Caminiti look-alike.  Eat it with extra cheese and onions.

I went 5-0 to make it up to 244th. Go Duke! Go Izzo! Go Ricky P.!

Paul P and I went to the South Regional last night.  Champ Canonico was there while his pregnant wife was barefoot at home cooking his supper.  Beau Ryan was there and went streaking on the court between the games.  I got a pic with the cowbell player (srsly) from the Ganzaga band.  More cowbell!


I met a dude at the Regional that was a Duke fan.  He had a hat with just a “K” for Coach K. I thought it was for Kentucky.  Hilarity ensued.

Today we get the Arizona-Wisconsin rematch.  Evidently there is another Zona grad in our pool, Brad Bratten.  He and fellow alumnus, Phil Magee both have the Cats to win it all.  Just their unbiased opinions.

McConn The Leprechaun has his Fighting Irish to win today.  They might give Kentucky a fight but I think there will be some sad students at Our Lady of the Lake tonight.

Friou out.

the pretenders are separated from the contenders in the Sweet 16

I often say about this pool that you make your money in the Elite 8.  But the pretenders are separated from the contenders in the Sweet 16.

I missed most of the early games bc Elliot and I were at “Art Night” at the school.  That’s what we told Mom.  Actually, we went to a biker rally and got tattoos.  His tattoo said “I love mommy.”  Mine said “Mama didn’t love me.”

Kate just sharted.  Conrad’s situation is worse.

Kentucky made WVU (oh, I am so tempted to say “Pittsnoggled” for old times sake…but I won’t) look like they did not belong on the same court.   In other words, they made them look like they were from the Big XII.

Seriously, I can’t think of any time in history that talk radio (XM Ch 91!!!) salivated over a conference so much only to see them absolutely suck.  To look at W-L record is too narrow.  Watch the games.  They do not belong on the same court as the teams they to which they lose.  And Baylor and ISU were the worst.  Leffler, is your woman’s basketball team playing tonight?

And so we had 3 new sherriffs in town after 3 games

Reid Babin – I have never met this guy in my life.  It is entirely possible that he is a perfectly normal, well-adjusted dude.  He may also like things that Republicans would consider unnatural.  Things like taxation.
Phil Magee – I have known Phil since he broke his arm playing basketball.  Our team was undefeated until that happened.  Not after.  What a selfish you-know-what to go and break his arm when we needed him the most.
Travis Bloom – Travis and I aren’t friends in the traditional sense, but he has been in the pool longer than I can remember.  I am happy to see him do well.

I was in 280th place.  But I have MSU and Louisille winning tommorw.  Go Sparty!

The late games was Arizona.  Only 10 people picked Xavier.  Not Phil Magee.  As the only Arizona grad in the of which I am aware in the pool, he took his ‘Cats.  But since most everyone else did, the game was of little consequence to the pool.

As you lose hope in your chances to win the pool, just know that you can win the quotation contest.  It always pays out $20 each year, but this year you get two bonus prizes: 1) you get to enjoy a complimentary drink with a charming pool webmaster and 2) I will tell you my deepest, darkest secret.  But mainly the $20.  Just email me, for each post and each quote in the title to the post the following:

– the source of the quote (e.g., “that was said by Elliot in E.T.”)
– the relevance of the quote (e.g., “that was said by Barak Obama when making his bracket picks on TV” or “you actually just wrote that in the post.  you quoted yourself.  Are you lazy or an egomaniac?  I think you need to see somebody.”)

You can get up to 3 points per post.  One for source and, where applicable, two points if there are two points of relevance of the quote.  Relevance might be to the the post or it could be more generally to the tournament or the pool.  Don’t be discouraged if you barely get half of them right.  It isn’t meant to be easy.  Take a shot.  Beau Ryan and Kim Hock always do, and they tend to win about every other year between the two of them.  Beau wins money from me in poker more often than that.  Kim …less often.  Canonico has gotten 2nd place in the quotation contest more often than UT has failed to win the Big XII tournament.  But less often than A&M has claimed a championship it did not win.  More often than Russ Sartain went to class at UT.  Less often than Jay Bilas is wrong.  More often than Robert Dies sends me flowers.  Less often than Jayson Baird “scratches” his nose while driving.  More often than Jack Graham has a sober night.

A great night.  Arizona’s victory bumped me to 324th place.  But I still have the Running Izzos and the Louisville Lou’s.

Kate Keegan, the hot little tart she is once again finds herself in last place.  I think she picked the Clippers to win the tournament.  She also once bet me the sun would not rise the next day.  Stakes were that if it did not, I owed her a dollar.  If it didn’t, she’d go skinny dipping in the Pond Room.  I lost the bet and a dollar.  Damn clouds.

I will be at the Sweet 16 games tomorrow night in Houston so tomorrow’s update will be late (read: the next day).

If your chick can’t swim, she’s bound to drIZZown…

Lauren Holcomb and Cody Compton both have UNC with the upset tonight, so if they win, they’ll still be in first and second place.  But most of the people below them have Wisconsin, so they will fall if UNC loses.  That’s problem the game tonight with the biggest impact on the pool.

The gratuities have been rolling in.  Davis Rushing gave me a Sebastian Bach trading Card.  Robert Dies, Chris Collins, “El Hefe” Santos,  Jeff McInnis, Geoff Meyers, Nick Mousadakis, Amber Tierce and John Williamson all gave me some beer money.  Melinda Friou just gave me a hard time.  Canonico gave me 64 cents.

Adam Hickey and JT Friou are tied up with each other at 69th.  She’s not in very good shape…treading water, but Gonzaga going to the championship game would be just the life preserver she needs.

I have also received mail from the mailbag.


To: Fro
From:  Cody Compton
Subject:  wtf?

Friou, can you explain this pic?

you're gonna feel that in the morning

you’re gonna feel that in the morning

To: Cody Compton
From: Fro
Subject: RE: wtf?

Ah, that would be me winning first place in the annual West University Fourth of July Belly Flop Contest. I am a man of many talents.


To: Fro
From: Jennifer Teichelman
Subject:  My plan

What say you rig the pool so that I win, I give you half the winnings, I leave Travis, and you and I run away to some island in the Carribean?

To: Jennifer Teichelman
From: Fro
Subject: RE: My plan

I think you are thinking what I am thinking.


Keep the mail coming in.

What I do ain’t make-believe…

I got up the scenario report. A few notes on how to read it:

  • There are 32,768 (that is 2 to the power of 15) ways this tournament can play out. We call each one a “scenario”.
  • Find your name. The most important column is the one that titled “Best Place Finish”. If this is between 1 to 6 (inclusive), you can still place in the pool and win money.
  • A “t” means that you would tie for that spot and then the tiebreakers apply.
  • The last column (“Root For”) tells you what you need to happen to achieve your Best Place Finish. The first team is who you want to win it all. The first two teams are the ones you want in the finals. The first four teams are who you want in the Final Four. All eight teams are the ones you want to win their next game.
  • If you can win under more than one scenario, it lists just one such scenario and then says “+__ others”. So if it says “+82 others” then you have 83 chances at winning.
  • Not all scenarios are equally likely of course, so if you win under 83 scenarios, your odds are not equal to 83 divided by 32,768. If you have a quality basketball program like Kentucky then you are much better off than needing, say, UCLA to win.
  • The number of scenarios is the number that gets you to your best place finish. If your best place finish is 1 and you have 83 scenarios, that is 83 scenarios that get you to 1st place. There could be other scenarios that get you to 2nd, 3rd, etc in which case you still win money.

And a reminder on the payouts:

  • First place – 40% of the pot
  • Second place – 25% of the pot
  • Third place – 15% of the pot
  • Fourth place – 10% of the pot
  • Fifth place – 6% of the pot
  • Sixth place – 4% of the pot
  • Last place & winner of quotation contest – each get money back
  • There is a $19 deduction for software costs and a couple entries will be DQd if, for instance, their check bounces

Some observations:

  • There are 198 out of 387 players can still place 6th or better and win money
  • 77 players can still place in 1st. The lowest person in the current standings who can is Lola Luque, currently in 352nd.
  • An additional 34 players can still place as well as 2nd. The lowest people in the current standings who can are Aric Canonico and Geoff Meyers, currently tied at 323rd place.
  • An additional 30 players can still place as well as 3rd. The lowest people in the current standings who can are Tad Delaney, John Stiver, Jack O’Riordan, Dew Drop and Brandon Fox, all currently in 308th place.
  • An additional 21 players can still place as well as 4th. The lowest people in the current standings who can are Tommy Mack, former champion Richard Davis, Rich Paterson and James Freeman, all currently in 279th place.
  • An additional 17 players can still place as well as 5th. The lowest person in the current standings who can is Marcos Dela(soul)garza currently in 332th place.
  • An additional 19 players can still place as well as 6th. The lowest person in the current standings who can is Hammerin’ Cameron Moates currently in 332nd place.
  • That’s 198 by my math.
  • 11 players can still place in last place (notice a trend in bold):

Keegan, Sean
Keegan, Michael 3
Luque. Lola
Kemp, Margaret
Sara Canonico
Keegan, Kate
treat, burnett2
Buckner, Paul
Keegan, Sean Patrick Jr.
Keegan, Michael 2

  • All Frious in the pool can still win money except James and Elise (poor thing)
  • All 387 of you can still win the quotation contest.
  • The highest current standing of a player without a chance to win money (i.e., Best Place Finish of 7) is Byron Charboneau #2, currently in 25th place.