Monthly Archives: March 2020

In my experience with ButtFaces, you are one.

Golf beat the Mountains 9-6 which put a 2 seed in the Final Four. In retrospect, Root Beer probably didn’t deserve the 1 seed in that region, and golf did. Either way, The Mountains, which seem like they have been around forever are no longer around. Which makes me think of some of my favorite mountain stories:

  • There was the time I ran to the top of Strawberry Hill, but sorta tumbled down. I guess that was a hill and not a mountain
  • There was my first grown up hike with Elliot in Rocky Mountain National Park. I was worried whether he’d be ok. He did better than I did.
  • A rainy day in the cabin with Cameron Moates, pontificating over all of life’s problems and solutions (it turns out they were the same)
  • The time a 5-yr old Elliot saw a bear and said “Daddy, I see a bear” and I mockingly came back with “ooo, is it a big scary bear?” Then I went outside and saw a bear that stood 100 feet tall ready to eat my Elliot in one bite and I calmly(?) told Elliot to slooooowly walk into the cabin.

Good times.

Then dogs beat poker 12-9. Dogs and poker? There hasn’t been that much fun of a combination since the Pawnee / Eagleton Unity Concert.

I wish they could both win, but we have more dog lovers than poker lovers. Before we say goodbye to poker, let me leave you with some of my favorite poker memories (one of which involves a dog):

  • Coining the phrase about Jayson Baird “Pulling a Baird” which was a nicer way to say metaphorically stepping in a pile of sh!t and then later that night he left the garage to relieve himself and literally stepped in a pile of dog sh!t
  • Cameron betting us over poker that White Settlement, TX was named after a guy whose surname was “White.” It was not. It was a reference to lack of Native Americans in the city. I won $5.00
  • Leffler thinking he won a pot that he didn’t
  • The other time Leffler thought he won a pot that he didn’t.

So we have our FInal Four. We will stray from the standard Saturday/Monday format and play the Final Four Wednesday / Friday. So see you in three days.

Current Standings Updated. Kevin Lockley had the most impressive performance this round getting 3 of 4 right. Well done, Kevin! Only a few people are able to still win the pool, but anybody can win the Quotation Contest. Good luck to you

I thank God for my life and for the stars and stripes. May freedom forever fly; let it ring. Salute the ones who died, the ones that give their lives …so we don’t have to sacrifice… all the things we loooooove…

Two games today and we have half of the Final Four set. First was an epic battle between Bacon and America. America prevailed 8-5. You gotta hand it to Bacon. Nobody expected this 13-see to make it this far and upsetting America would be pretty unbelievable. We invented pizza and gave birth to Jesus remember? We invented the internet, perfected capitalism, introduced deodorant to Europe as part of the Marshall Plan and created The Office and Idol. IKR? Bacon does have that awesome Bacon & Maple Donut at River Oaks Donuts. But it wasn’t enough to be beat the land of the free. So our first Final Four team is a 1-seed.

In the other game, another 1 seed won but this one was much closer with Astros 9 to Beatles 8. Everytime the Beatles were gonna play a song from the White Album, Carlos Correa banged on the trash can and Altuve knew a good song was coming. And so the Beatles get disposed of in the same manner as the Dodgers in ’17, the Yankees like every year and the Rangers more often than not. With some good ol fashion cheating. God Bless America and God Bless the Houston Astros.

And God Bless you. I hope you are taking care of yourself and staying healthy. Maybe this will cheer you up.

Current Standings updated. Leonidas is still in front w Dunkin right behind. Some people including Eva (a dog), McInnis, Ron Weaver and Travis Teichelman are slowly moving up.

Take care, see you tomorrow.

Gratitude is celebration everyone is invited to.

The Mountains beat Root Beer 9-3 which means 22 people had neither of them even playing in this game. My little league teams love to sing “Chicken Fried” and change the lyrics to “You know I like my chicken fried. Root Beer on a Friday night.” Root beer and Friday night practice under the lights at Wallin Field is perfected only by getting an ice cream afterwards. But Root Beer is done in this here tournament.

Golf beat Rolling Stones 14-9. Personally, I think Golf and Poker are headed for a massive showdown mainly because the demographic of this pool are type of people that love them some golf and poker. Goodbye Rolling Stones. Dunkin picked the stones and now he is like a stone rolling down the hill. Eva, a dog, picked the Stones. Being sorta British herself she was clinging to the last bit of Britishness left in the pool. Well, I guess you could say golf is British too. They did invent it and all. Ok, we’ll let them have golf. But America still gets to claim both pizza and Jesus as their own. They can have golf though. They can have golf, stranded prepositions and sticky toffee pudding. I still think Jesus and pizza beat that lot.

Dogs (in general) beat Daisy, my dog (specifically) which is understandable since “Dogs” includes Daisy. So even a vote for Dogs is also a vote for Daisy. The only people voting for Dasiy were me, my kids and two of my nephews. Sorry Daisy. But hanging out backstage with the Stones while everyone else is still playing will be fun. Those guys can party.

Poker beat Nolan Ryan 17-7. Travis Teichelman took Nolan Ryan. This is the second time he’s gotten beaten by poker. The first was Rodney Martin’s bachelor party when I took all of Travis’s money. Woo-Hoo!

So the Elite Eight is set and Leonidas is killing everyone. Morgan Wheeler has locked up last place. Attawaytogo, Morgan. You got last place the only year that you win no money for last place. Can you say LOSER?!?!

Elise comes in second to last (or “first winner”)

It’s Regional Finals now…two games tomorrow.

Upon us all a little rain must fall….Just a little rain…

The Longhorns blew their early lead and fell to bacon 17-13. Although the people that love the Longhorns really really love the Longhorns, unfortunately they could each cast only one vote. And anybody that doesn’t love the Longhorns hates them. So do people really love bacon or just hate the Longhorns? We will see in the next round. Goodbye Vince Young. Goodbye Ron Weaver, Earl Campbell, Kevin Durant, Shea Morenz and John The Porter. You had your glory days but now they are over.

The #2 seed America beat Queso by the slimmest of margins 12-11. This is unfair to have this matchup in any round other than the championship game. It’s like Duke-Kentucky in East Regional Final when they should have matched up two rounds later. Well, queso, we still love you. You with your taco meat mixed in, sometimes with your guacamole in too. We even like the kind mom makes that’s just Velveeta and Ro-tel. Maybe next year.

The Astros beat Led Zeppelin 12-9 and it makes me wonder (ok, pause for a second and just think about those last three words….wanted to make sure you didn’t miss the joke) why there is less hate for Astros than Longhorns. Probably just because this pool isn’t full of Yankees fans the way it is full of Aggies. It I had my druthers, I’d take the Yankees fans over the Gomers.

In another close one, the Beatles beat Smoked Pork Ribs 10-9. Man I love my ribs. Set the smoker to 225. Smoke it with just rub on it for 3 hours, then two hours covered in foil and apple juice then one hour with Fro’s Homemade BBQ Sauce smothered all over it. Let it sit for 30 minutes on the counter in butchers paper then boom: the best ribs this side of the Mississippi. Hell, they’re the best ribs on the other side of the Mississippi, too. But unfortunately the regional appeal of pork ribs is no match for the international appeal of the Beatles.

Current Standings updated. Leonidas Brown passed Dunkin getting 3 of the 4 games right. Leonidas has a very solid bracket with her lone achilles heal being that she took The Beach to the Final Four. Dunkin was similarly bullish on The Beach but it was his love of queso and pork ribs that did him in today.

Four more games tomorrow.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: democracy simply doesn’t work

In case you can’t find the results on ESPN and you’re too lazy to write down the results, I created this so you can see where the tournament stands.

We are down to the Sweet Sixteen. I didn’t bother with the famous Scenario Report partially due to lazy but also because I think the real excitement here is who wins the tournament (Queso is looking unbeatable) and who wins the pool is of secondary importance (unless you’re Michael Dunkin hanging onto the glory of the only good thing that’s ever happened to him which is winning this pool.)

So there are 8 games in this round, 4 of which will be played today. The Longhorns have already tipped off against bacon and look to win like the #1 seed should. Will be back with an update when that game ends.

Until then…

I got 99 donuts cuz a b!+(h ate one

Dogs beat GenXers in what looks like an upset (8 vs 1 seed) but really both were seeded wrong. I mean dogs are just the best. Dogs are like the Kentucky of this pool; GenXers are like the Indiana. Not the Indiana from the 80s, like Indiana now.

Daisy Friou beat Melinda Friou 24-8. I don’t think that is a dig at Melinda as much as it is just a lot of love for Daisy. Melinda should know that three grandkids and one son (who shall not be named) all voted for Daisy. Only her favorite grankid, Travis, voted for her. I like my mom but she doesn’t hop in my lap and snuggle at night while I eat ice cream and watch Schitt’s Creek on Netflix.

I was one of 6 people that voted for Van Halen but then again, I used to play Panama on my jambox and play guitar on my tennis racket over and over and over when I was in 5th grade. It was at the same time that I was a big Nolan Ryan fan, but Nolan Ryan never dated Valerie Bertinelli.

Poker beat comfy jeans 24-7 to finish the second round. That’s a 2, 3, 4 and 8 seed in the Awesome Region. Almost chalk. The F-Yeah Region have a 1, 2, 6 and 13 seed (Bacon should never have been a 13 seed). The High-Five Region has a 1, 3, 4 and 10 seed (another pork product in pork ribs). And finally, the Kickin-A Region has a 1, 2, 4 and 6 seed – the region closest to chalk.

There will be no games played while the teams travel to their Regional Tournaments. We will pick this back up on Thursday with the Sweet Sixteen. Games will be shown on The Ocho.

Current Standings updated. Dunkin, the BSD, is in first place. He must know a lot about a lot of things.

Rebellions are built on hope

Root Beer beat Gonzaga 22-4. Tracey McFadden has Gonzaga in the Elite Eight so that one will hurt.

The Mountains beat Star Wars 12-9. I’m not surprised it was close as these are two super powers. I think the weakness of Episode XIII played into it a bit. Well, and the weakness of II and III. But Empire Strikes Back alone you would think could carry this team into the Final Four. And while its a minority opinion, I believe Rogue One belongs on the list of best Star Wars movies. The whole movie was great but the ending was phenomenal. And it was the first time that the war wasn’t some abstract conflict largely fought out in space between spaceships flown by anonymous pilots. This time we saw the war on a much more personal level and the hatred of the Empire no longer seemed to be the easy-to-ignore thing Uncle Own and Aunt Beru made it out to be. When the occupying forces are going down the street addressing “Citizens of the Empire…” and a baby is about to get stomped on by the Empire before being saved at the last minute, it just feels a lot more tangible. Good bye Star Wars. Great game Mountains. You’ve been working on your game for about a million years so I’m not surprised you’re doing so well.

Rolling Stones beat Corn Dogs. I may have some sympathy for the devil but I have no sympathy for the dog here. Stones should have and did destroy corn dogs, a regional favorite not ready to compete on the international stage that the Stones have dominated.

Golf beat Shake Shack 22-8. Duh. I love the Shack but srsly, I’ve never lied to get a day off of work to go eat Shake Shack all day with my friends. YKWIM?

Current Standings updated. Leonidas Brown snuck past Dunkin to claim the top spot.

There is only one god, and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death: ‘Not today.’

Astros snuck by Buc-EEs by a narrow margin 16-14. The sign stealing scandal has taken a toll on Astro love. Even Elliot Friou voted for Buc-EEs, which is partially due to the fudge but largely due to the scandal. Josh Riddle was with all the other Astro-haters, almost all of which live in Dallas. I for one love the hate. I’m a Longhorns fan, so I am very comfortable being hated. This feels good.

Led Zeppelin also won a close one, beating Milk and Cookies 17-15. You would think from walking past M&C these days that they are the most popular place on the planet. Every day I go on a walk in the neighborhood and walk past M&C and the line is 20+ deep at all times of the day.

The Beatles beat my WULL Cardinals 21-4. The only 4 that voted for my team were me, Elise, Collin and Travis. Elliot didn’t even vote for his team due to some strange infatuation with Canada. So the Cardinals bow out of this pool, which is appropriate given how we had our season cancelled after 4 games. Well, maybe the league salvages the last couple weeks of the season, but what is supposed to be the best year of Little League, Majors (12u), is going to be a sad disappointment. I got a punch in the gut last year losing the championship game by 1 run (and a runner on third), but this hurts worse. I’d rather get robbed of prom than this. There are 132 kids, 96 of which are 12 years old in Majors. Those 96 kids got robbed.

But I have one good memory…

Try this link. Go to Video Replay, Web Gems. The First gem should be “Cardinals WULL Majors”. That’s the highlight from last game we played. That was a heck of a shot. I’ll cherish that memory. It might be all I get to take away from this season.

Smoked Pork Ribs beat Game of Thrones 15-12. Why did Josh Riddle vote for GoT? Is he allowed to watch it? There are no rules in that household.

Current Standings updated. Second round will be completed on Monday.

Of course you did. But there’s “the truth” [shakes head] and “the truth.” [smiles wide] Let me show you.

Four games during the day and in the first one the Longhorns killed the Bachelor. He was a $30,000 millionaire DB from Dallas who is working on a big deal right now. Have fun with that deal, Cash, you’ll have more time to work on it now that you’ve been bounced.

Next was Bacon against Cherry Garcia and it wasn’t even close. This pool digs on swine. I think Cherry Garcia is the best ice cream ever made but then again bacon is the best bacon ever made.

mmmmm baconnnn

Queso beat Breaking Bad by a mile. Elliot Friou picked BB. WTF? He’s never seen it, never heard of it. And he loves Queso! I think he was just being contrarian. He gets that from…. his mom. Ahem.

And then America beat the Simpsons 24-6. The Simpsons are obvs one of the best shows ever, but America is pretty hard to beat. Sure, since WWII, we are 0-2-2, but we’ve just been unlucky. And that scrappy little Vietnam was just too powerful. Any, adios, Homer Simpson. You are gone but not forgotten. Much like Lionel Hutz. And Kenny Rogers.

On that last note, I know we are all in mourning, but I’d like to take this inopportune time to point at that Kenny Rogers should not be referred to as “The Gambler.” Kenny was on a train (bound for nowhere) when he MET the Gambler. I know the TV miniseries made this a little more complicated, but please don’t call him the Gambler. It’s like calling South Side “West U”. It’s offensive.

Twenty five bucks to see Jerry Jeff at the KA house? If I’m gonna pay $25, there better be Van Halen and free pizza.

An 11 seed beat a 6 seed with Van Halen defeating Tiramisu. I am a little surprised but at the same time proud of this pool. Clearly sweets are well loved by this pool but a) Tiramisu is one of the most over-rated desserts this side of Blue Bell Vanilla and b) Van Halen is one of the most under-rated bands of all time.

Nolan Ryan, a 3 seed, beat Vineyard Vines, a 14 seed. Everyone that voted for Vineyard Vines is in middle school or high school and they stand in that same circle in our Fellowship Hall with shorts on for church when its 30 degrees outside. I knew Nolan would be a heavy favorite with the pool coming so heavily from Houston, Dallas and SoCal, the three markets where he spent the bulk of his career.

Seven people picked Prada, a 7 seed, to beat comfy blue jeans who was way under-seeded at 10. Good job blue jeans. I was one of the seven that picked Prada. I’ve been a Prad fan ever since I realized on the last day of the plan year, I had $800 left in my Flexible Spending Account. It was use it or lose it and since I couldn’t get the elective surgery I wanted, I went into the glasses store and asked “what’s the most expensive pair of sunglasses you have?” She said “the Prada glasses cost $800.” I said I’d take them without even trying them on. I think she thought I was nuts but c’mon the glasses were free. My mom still does not understand that story.

Poker was the other shutout of the day, winning 34-0 over wet socks. I figured if Sean Keegan entered the pool, Wet Socks might get a vote. But he didn’t and they didn’t. Go Poker!

ain’t that the truuf

Current Standings are updated with all 32 first round games complete. It’s a three way tie between Collin Flinchbaugh (also in a 4-way tie for favorite nephew), Ron Weaver (if you don’t get the joke in the name, try Google) and Jeff McInnis. Good job, men. Last place is all Mr Canonico. He’s a winner at poker and at basketball pools, but he sucks at this pool.

The second round will be played Sunday and Monday with a two day break while the teams travel to their regionals.