Did you graduate from Auburn? No, but I have a couple people working for me who did.

Sweet Sixteen done and the Elite Eight looks very chalky save Auburn. When you beat UNC by 19 points, you don’t need no stinking chalk. And the Auburn Tigers now face conference foe Kentucky. The world doesn’t really like playing the SEC or having to listen to SEC fans so maybe its best they play each other and give us a break for a game. (btw, my all time favorite SEC goofiness is when they lose a bowl game it’s because “our conference schedule is so tough, our teams just can’t get up for the Sugar Bowl. The Sugar Bowl is basically a big let down after you have been battling it out in our conference. Huh?!?”)

Standings updated. Not a lot of change since last post. Jake is still in first, Rodney went undefeated and Needham still looks like an overweight, bearded guy who isn’t legally allowed within 200 yards of an elementary school or a Chuck E Cheese. Linda Oletti is up there fighting for first, hoping to make the short list of repeat winners. Patrick Keegan is still in last place. His strategy is to win the last place prize money and buy him self a new pair of khaki pants. He currently only owns 26 pairs of khakis so he could do with a new pair. He wants a pair that screams 1997. Shea Thomas is in 8th place but has Tennessee to win it all. Oops. Israel Ramos is in 4th place and he got so excited he threw up outside my car but managed to make a mess of everything. Again. Emma Freeman is in 2nd place and wants to use the prize money to buy a Milk & Cookies franchise. But then she realized the 2nd place prize can only get you a double scoop of ice cream.

Your favorite report is updated, too. You can see a ton of people are still in the hunt. Amber Tierce can still get 1st even thought she is in 175th place. Keith Buchanan can come from 198th place to get 6th and make money.

I figured out how to make links from names to their picks, have fun with that. It took a long time (even child labor in Malaysia takes a long time to use their little blue makers and write out 317 names AND underline them.) But SRSLY, running that report with the links to picks takes longer than you’d think so I had to choose between that or a post last night. Also, I know I never got the user friendly version of everyone’s picks working correctly. I don’t think I will but at least you can click on people’s names on the the Current Standings and navigate to their picks that way.

UH almost won that game but just came up short in the end. It’s a shame because if they only make the Sweet Sixteen every 35 years, most of us will be dead by the time they make their next one in 2054. If I am not dead, I will be 81 years old and living in a post apocalyptic world where Jeff Bezos owns everything that China doesn’t, the Keegans will have 136 grandchildren and 2/3 of them will be in jail for fighting or some sort of violent crime and there will be a massive shortage of gasoline and paradoxically we will spend the whole movie driving and burning gasoline… in pursuit of more gasoline.

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